My Hamletian Tendencies

A professor once told me that Hamlet was the Shakespearean equivalent of a lazy English Literature grad student. This struck me as quite true and also simultaneously managed to frighten me considerably because I've noticed some rather Hamletian tendencies in my personality. Please do not mistake this comparison as hubris, for when I say I have Hamletian tendencies, I am not referring to the abilities to produce sweepingly insightful monologues and run verbal circles of wit around my peers (although I have been known to drop a witticism or two in my time). I am referring to Hamlet's tendency to remain fundamentally inactive through most of the play. Hamlet is the greatest procrastinator of all time, and as one who claims to have mastered the art, I can only look upon him in appreciation an awe for his ability to do nothing until the last possible moment.

On another Hamletian note, Professor Sexson has given us an assignment to make others' lives as entertaining as possible by being as Hamlet-like as possible. I'm afraid that I've been carrying out this assignment far too successfully for many years now, and that my goal should be to make my life less entertaining for others. This was exemplified for me during the past week when I was making a mad dash to the McDonald's drive through at 10:25 in the morning. Now, any true McDonald's customer knows that the restaurant stops selling their signature breakfast foods at 10:30 AM, so even though my car was running on empty, I had to eek out every last bit of fuel to obtain my primary goal of a Sausage Mcmuffin meal. Right as I pull up to voice my order, my car shutters to a halt and refuses to start. With a line of seven cars behind me, I had to get out of my vehicle and kindly ask the two gentleman behind me to push my car out of the McDonald's drive thru, subsequently depriving myself and all seven cars behind me of McDonald's breakfast. Refusing to let this set back keep me from McDonald's food all together, I mustered up my courage, walked inside the restaurant, placed my order "for here", and waited for a friend to bring a tank of gas to rescue my poor abused car from the clutches of the McDonald's parking lot. I've included a picture of the incident below as proof this story took place. Anyways, this incident is not an isolated one. Such humorous occurrences seem to take place in my life rather frequently, and as one who enjoys entertaining others, I'm not shy about sharing them. Yes, I've realized we have ventured away from discussing comedy in this class, but I think we can all agree that the death of my vehicle in the Mcdonald's drive thru is a pretty tragic Hamletian incident.